Are you aware that many women aren’t satisfied in the bedroom? Is your new partner among those unhappy ladies who couldn’t reach orgasm after your sexy time?
Many men feel insecure with the size of their penis. However, that’s not what ladies are after. What they care more about is how you could satisfy them and help them reach their big O. Impress your woman in bed by showing her your passion in making her
Difficulties experiencing orgasms have affected a large proportion of women. According to a NCBI study, in 2015, 9% of women reported never experiencing an orgasm from intercourse.
Earlier studies reported that the proportion of women who had never experienced an orgasm from sexual intercourse was 4-7%, which is lower than in 2015.
The same study also reported that 14% of young women under 35 years of age had never had an orgasm from intercourse. The figure is higher than in the previous survey
Most women have unhappy sex lives and if you want your wife to have a different experience, make sure to feed her sexual desires. Please your woman in bed and make her enjoy sex.
Fortunately, there are many ways to improve your performance in the bedroom. And in this article, I’ll help you by giving you tips on how to achieve that steamy session in the bedroom.
Some of the suggestions are from a sex coach and other intimacy gurus. But before that, I’ll give you an overview of how to start to get your woman ready physically and emotionally.
How Women Achieve Orgasm
Everyday Health gave a four-step process described by the sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson decades ago to help women achieve their big O.
So, on your next bedroom session with your wifey, you should consider these four things before you get naked.
Excitement – I understand that many men can’t wait to get their woman into this stage because, they, themselves couldn’t contain their excitement. You will know when your partner is excited because at this stage she will start to focus on sexual stimuli, Blood will engorge the clitoris, vagina, and nipples. Her heart rate and blood pressure will increase.
Plateau – Sexual tension is a precursor to orgasm. At this stage, one-third of the vagina is engorged with blood, creating what researchers call an “orgasmic platform.” You should focus on sexual stimuli that drown out all other sensations. In this stage her heart rate, blood pressure and respiration continue to increase.
Orgasm – This is a series of rhythmic contractions in the uterus, vagina and pelvic floor muscles. The sexual tension caused by lovemaking or self-stimulation could result in a feeling of warmness that will emanate from the pelvis and spread throughout the entire body.
Resolution – After reaching the big O, with blood flowing away from the engorged sexual organs, things will return to normal, including the heart rate, blood pressure and respiration.
9 Tips for a Good Sex
Now, let’s get into details. Here are some of the things you can do to keep your woman happy and satisfied when you make love.
You can try any or all of them for maximum pleasure and see how your performance in the bedroom could turn around your relationship.
Remember, don’t rush to get her naked and penetrate her. Keep her excited until she’ll ask you to take it because she couldn’t wait to feel you inside her.
Do not skip the kiss because women love it. Being kissed on the neck, lips, boobs, jawline, ears, inner thighs, and just about anywhere in their body make them feel good. A kiss can help your wife to reach the excitement stage, so take the time to kiss.
Also, you should familiarize your woman’s body. Kiss her in her erogenous zones because that will turn her on instantly. Most women You can pleasure your girl by kissing her.
“Women get their greatest erotic pleasure from frequent, passionate kissing,” says Patti Britton, Ph.D., clinical sexologist, and author of The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice. “If you get the sense that she’s starting to lose interest, kissing is always the best way to bring her back into it.”
If you want to give your wife the maximum sexual pleasure, you should know that it will take time.
So, have the patience and take as much time. Explore her body because immediate penetration is boring.
Foreplay is not optional. It’s a must in every steamy lovemaking session, according to Men’s Health.
“Without foreplay, [sex] is equivalent to putting a frozen turkey in a 250-degree oven,” explains Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven, one of the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shops.
“Oh, it will defrost at some point and it will cook within the next 4 or 5 days. But why go that route when you can defrost it and then warm it up the correct way at the correct temperature?”
A 2017 survey of over 50,000 individuals aiming to identify differences in orgasm frequency across sexual orientations reported that “women were more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse.”
You can do all of that during foreplay. In fact, you can be as creative as you can for more fun and enjoyable sexual encounter. use your mouth, tongue, fingers, and palms. Slither, lick, kiss, touch, rub, or smell her to get her excited for your next move.
You can give her pleasure by whispering sweet nothings, giving her a pussy massage or clitoral stimulation and more.
Here’s a tip from certified sexologist Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the Drive Her Wild With Pleasure video course in using your mouth for foreplay.
“Start at their collarbone and change your breathing patterns to experiment with temperature. A wide-open mouth should create warm air, and pursed lips can create cool air,” she said.
“Work your way down around the sides of their breasts. Tease over their nipples and beneath their breasts.”
“Once you’ve touched every inch of their backside, roll them over and kiss, touch, caress, and lick from head to toe on the other side before diving down between their legs,” O’Reilly added.
3. Dirty Talk
Do you know that communication applies to your sexy time in the bedroom too?
This might not be appealing to some, but whispering sweet nothings can actually bring you and your partner closer. For husbands, make your wife feel wanted and desired when you talk dirty to her.
“Feeling intimately connected can be the sexiest foreplay for some women,” said Layla Martin, sex expert and author of Wild Woman in the Bedroom. “Hundreds of couples have told me this is the best foreplay they have ever tried.”
This a skill because it requires practice to be effective. It has to be intuitive, so you can communicate with your partner. When done well, dirty talks increase the excitement, fun, and joy over awkward silence.
Your skills will also have a correlation with your confidence in exploring sexual pleasure and in persuading your partner to experiment with you.
“When you feel sexy and empowered and are being creative in your words and imagination, you are more likely to feel comfortable trying new things, asking for what you want, and feeling comfortable with your sexuality,” said Dr. Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist in West Palm Beach, Florida and the Co-Director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.
Here are dirt talk phrases recommended by sex therapists.
• Tell me what you want me to do
• I’ve thought about this all-day
• How does this feel
• I want to taste you
• I am crazy for you
• That feels good
4. Use sex toys
Aside from building up anticipation, you should make sure that she won’t be disappointed. Make your bedroom session extra fun and spicy by bringing up and using sex toys.
Sex toys are designed scientifically to aid sexual pleasure. Sometimes, it’s not easy to stimulate your mind and body to be in the mood and these bedroom accessories can help you with that.
Adult toys are manufactured to hit the right pleasure points, reducing your workload to impress your woman.
Popular sex toys include vibrators, dildos, leather whips, interlocking foam foreplay mats, nipple rings, clamps and more.
Sex expert Tatyana Dyachenko of Peaches and Screams shared some tips of what’s the best toys for each technique.
She recommends sex swing for angling because it allows your woman to rotate, raise or lower her pelvis on the penetration item for maximum pleasure. Silicone mini finger is best for stimulating the clitoris during penetration.
You can also wear a raised ribbed cock sleeve with a clitoral stimulator and vibrator. Your wife will surely enjoy your lovemaking session because it helps thicken and support the penis. You can also wear cock rings for firmer and longer erections and also use vibrating clitoral stimulators to deliver direct stimulation.
5. Focus on the clitoris
If you want to give your woman the best experience is to focus on the vulva —the inner and outer lips — and the clitoris not the inside of the vagina.
Focus on stimulating the clitoris because women require stimulation in their clitoris to have an orgasm.
According to a 2015 internet-based survey published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, which involved 1,000 U.S. women, 36% reported reaching orgasm by stimulating their clitoris.
The clitoris is the organ in the body solely responsible for sexual pleasure. In Greek, it means “key.”
In another study conducted in 2017, Prof. Debby Herbenick from the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington. Herbenick and her colleagues found out that 36.6 percent of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm during intercourse.
Prof. Herbenick asked women about the type of clitoral stimulation that they preferred, irrespective of whether it was necessary for orgasm or not. Two-thirds of women preferred direct clitoral stimulation and the most popular motions were up and down, circular shape, and side to side.
So, why focus on the clitoris? Here’s why:
“The bulbs of the clitoris surround the vagina, and that’s why — when the clitoris is engaged and aroused — penetration can feel amazing, but when it’s not aroused, it can feel really uncomfortable, or like nothing, because the sensation and pleasure comes from the clitoris, not the vagina,” feminist and artist Sophia Wallace said.
6. Use sensual food
Eating food and sex are two of the best thing about being alive and you can do both at the same time.
Yes, you can take food in your bedroom during your sexy time. Aside from sex toys, you can add other items during your intimate session to keep the fire burning.
For instance, you can keep a stock of chocolate sauce to turn on the heat. You can use food to be more playful while you get intimate.
There are kinks involving food such as sploshing (sexual pleasure from sitting on food) and other forms of W.A.M (wet and messy) pay. Sex is supposed to be messy. There are many ways to incorporate food when you get intimate.
For instance, you can pour a chocolate syrup or sauce over her breasts and lick on them. You can initiate many dirty games with food. You can use fruit, cream, honey, caramel for unforgettable pleasure.
Here are some foods that you can take to your bedroom for more fun and exciting encounter with your wife.
Sushi – Get rid of the traditional bamboo leaves and place it directly on your partner’s body. It will change your sushi experience for sure.
Cherries – Go old school and challenge your wife for a classic kissing test. You can also run cherries to your partner’s body or drizzle the juice over their erogenous zones and lick them off.
Grapes – Just like cherries, you can use this fruit for icy, hot foreplay with your spouse. Run it over your wife’s nipple and other erogenous zones as she anticipates your next move.
Whipped Cream – This is a popular item in the bedroom for a sexy time. It’s the best segue way to oral sex. You can create a line from your partner’s neck down to her genitals and lick your way down there before eating her out. However, make sure to not get the dessert inside her labia because sugar can cause infection.
Chocolate syrup – It is a little messier and drippier than the whip cream which requires more tongue action. Your lady will surely enjoy all the lick after you drizzle the syrup all over her.
To make the experience more fun, you can also use the syrup to write your affirmation for your love, her initials or the filthy names she likes being called in bed. If you want to be arty, go all out and put it on her back or butt.
Cannabis chocolates – Cannabis has a reputation of being an aphrodisiac making it a great addition to your sexy time. It can make your foreplay more fun. You can feed each other as you wait for its effects to kick in.
“Be really careful with edibles, because they take time to kick in, and they bring about a more intense high than smoking or vaping,” warns cannabis-friendly dating coach Molly Peckler.
7.Give her an awesome fingering
Fingering is a crucial part of female pleasure and orgasm, according to Megan Wallace. Around 80% of women with vulvas can’t orgasm through penetration, so top-notch fingering skills will come in handy.
If you feel that you lack in the size department, your expert fingers could be your way to helping your wife achieve her Big O.
Vulva responds well to stimulation. Start slowly and sensually. So, take your time to make her wet. It might take 15 minutes for her to reach her orgasm. When it comes to fingering, don’t stimulate her clitoris immediately.
Build up the tension by touching her near her genitals but not directly where she expects it. you can stroke her thighs or lower stomach, for example.
This will set the right pace, encourage blood to flow to your partner’s genitals and amp her arousal. She will be more receptive to intense stimulation.
Observe her breathing and responses. When she is already aroused, you can start zoning in on the areas where she responds the most.
Make the move rhythmic and consistent, rub a finger back and forth or trace a circle. Pay attention to your wife’s cues before you penetrate.
Once you slip a finger or two, here are some moves you can try out.
• Circular, swirling motion at the opening of the vagina.
• G-spot stimulation using a finger or two agains the vagina front wall.
• Switch things up by slipping your fingers in the vagina and caressing the G-spot, then slipping them back out and up over the clitoris.
• Use the rest of your hand to caress and massage the clitoris while you move a finger rhythmically in and out.
8. Perform oral sex
According to a 2016 study published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality women are twice likely to go down on their partners than men and they are less likely to enjoy it. There is an oral sex gap between men and women.
Based on the survey, only 40 percent of women engaged in cunnilingus with their partner and more than half of women orgasm through oral sex.
So, if you want to pleasure your woman, get down on her.
According to the survey, 80% of women enjoy it when their partner gives them oral. However, less than 1/3 of women feel comfortable communicating their desire to be eaten down there.
Several sex therapists and gurus said many women feel self-conscious about receiving oral sex due to potentially offensive smells and the appearance of their genitals.
Some also find it dirty, but those who have tried it, enjoyed it. But she will easily overcome this if you are both sure of your relationship. Also, make her feel relax to enjoy the moment.
“Many women feel that receiving oral sex is the most intimate sexual act, much more intimate than intercourse,” said Kimberly Resnick, certified sex therapist, associate professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine.
For the best oral sex, you can lick her, bite her, play with her, grab her and experiment with anything you have in mind. You’ll surely hear loud moans in the bedroom when you find yourself in between her legs.
9. Try different sex positions
Again, several women do not enjoy the sexual encounter through penetrative sex alone. Be
experimental and try different positions and forms of stimulation to let your partner know that her pleasure is what you want to achieve.
Here are five sex positions that could help you and your partner enjoy satisfying sexual intercourse.
Add some action in the missionary position if your partner already finds it boring. You can thrust in her with a gentle grinding action or place her legs on your shoulders for a new angle and deeper penetration.
Many enjoy doggy style, but you can make it more fun by having your partner get down on her elbows while you are behind thrusting her. This position is more intense than the doggy style because it allows you to stimulate the most sensitive part her womanhood. You can also instruct her to rub her clit while you go in and out of her.
Have your wife lie on her back and bend her knees with her feet flat on the bed. Have her arch her hips up toward the ceiling. Kneel in front of her and hold her hips to leverage as you thrust her. This is a great position to introduce clitoral stimulation with hands or a sex toy.
Straddle your partner backward and let her move up and down your shaft in a rhythmic pace. You can run your fingers down her back, read around her breasts and massage it, or rub clit as she rides you.
This is a sweet and intimate position. You need to lies on your sides facing the same direction. Push your way insider her. Reach out and stimulate her clitoris. You can also use a sex toy for additional stimulation.
More Hints on What Women Want and How to Pleasure Them
Prof. Herbenick’s research presented a list of sexual behaviors and asked if they found them “very appealing,” “somewhat appealing,” “not appealing” or “not at all appealing.”
• Vaginal intercourse – 69.9 percent
• Cuddling more often – 62.8 percent
• Kissing more often during sex – 49.3 percent
• Saying sweet, romantic things during sex – 46.6 percent
• Giving or receiving a massage before sex – 45.9 percent
• Having gentle sex – 45.4 percent
• Receiving oral sex – 43.3 percent
• Watching a romantic movie – 41.9 percent
• Making the room feel more romantic – 41.3 percent
• Wearing sexy underwear or lingerie – 41.2 percent
Forty women also shared that having sex more often was very appealing to them.
In most cases, women struggle to reach their orgasm compared to most men. If you are eager to please your wife in the bedroom, you should take your time and observe her reactions.
Know what your partner likes, familiarize her cues and do not hesitate to get down and give her the best oral sex and fingering because these two often work well in leading her to her Big O.
Achieving orgasm for women could be real work for some husbands. So, it’s best if you prepare her leading to your sexy time. Make her feel safe and relax. You can tell her, you can’t wait to get home and get on top of her. Build up tension, make her excited, and give a mind-blowing performance to achieve your mission — make your partner feel good after you make love.
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